INSERCURED

Sometimes when you feel the strain, all coming, like a jolt, you tend to feel threaten. You don’t want to think about the way he looked too long at her, you don’t want to notice the way he hugged your friend in the party, you don’t want to feel your quicken heartbeat when her phone rings, especially when its near you identifying the caller id as a man, knowing when you ask she will say it’s just a friend. You know you are meant for each other, but, still you are afraid. I can imagine you who must have at one point in your life experienced this, wistfully say, as you are reading this “Yea it’s annoying you know, I don’t know why I can’t just trust her/him”. In the end you destroy everything you have painstakingly built because you are INSERCUED.

That’s it, the whole reason you doubt your spouse, that’s the reason your heart thugs out when he goes out to receive a call, the same reason you feel so partial in giving all your love, it’s the reason why you cheat on him; why you lie to her and you really don’t know why you do all this. It’s really sad, loving and so unsure at the same time. The truth is you can have a fulfilled relationship with your spouse without worrying of the unknown. Clearly I have centered the main reason why you doubt. You think too much! You ask yourself petty and unnecessary questions, you over exaggerate little things that shouldn’t muddle the waters, you worry even when you know you shouldn’t.

I know you have your reasons; Rome certainly was not built in a day, whatever that has crumbled your self esteem has its own cure. You think it’s just bad luck on you, that you always meet the wrong ones, maybe you not chic enough, or you say the wrong things, but it was never you that was the problem, the problem is you ignored identifying whatsoever reasons there is to find and also correcting them. Having a bad experience with your Ex or Exs as the case maybe shouldn’t way you down or crumble your confidence in your personality. At the end of every broken relationship make sure you scan through in your mind, looking carefully what you did that contributed to the break, note it, correct or improve on it, that is if you are the guilty one if not just keep being yourself, starting afresh when you eventually find someone that you truly care about.

You must know all fingers are not equal, in as much as you might want some certain characters to be present in your spouse expect also the dark side underneath. Hence you first duty to yourself is to find and understand your partner’s flaws. What exactly can you take from this person? And for how long will you stand it? If you have done this mental evaluation within yourself having to worry unnecessarily will not be an issue. You will find yourself at ease even when it seems uncanny. Starting a relationship should be based on mutual wants and desires aside finding the person attractive. You do not impose your desires on somebody, talk it out, it’s always the best that way. Also you don’t have to assume what your partner is thinking you might be lead astray.

Loving somebody can really be intense for some persons, they tend to act extreme. Having a partner like that can be really frustrating it’s like having an overdose of everything! At first it’s exciting but gradually it becomes irritating. You really love her but you wish she could just give you a little bit of space. To be truthful, if you are that sweet extra loving type, please try a little bit of patience, don’t give, give and give, try give, pause, wait and see. It’s true the saying too much of everything is bad. Giving him your all does not guarantee a lasting relationship which is ultimately marriage. Know this and take it seriously not all relationships leads to marriage but you can influence a relationship to marriage.

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