don't make the mistake of doing

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Topic: Relationship and You




We have been talking about moving on after your break-up and finally it ends with this last approach, THE LETS SIT AND TALK approach. Make sure you take your time. Don’t make the mistake of doing this first, because it will make you look needy, and trust me your ex will be pushed off with it. So you deal with the reason, and why you broke up with yourself first before you talk it through with your ex.

 If you wondering how you could actually do this probably you not brave enough, these few tips below will give the right clue on how to do it, say it and act it.


 Invite your ex to talk to you. Express that things didn’t work out well between you and ask if you can talk about it now that you have some perspective. Ask if what went wrong was related to what you've been working on. Your ex may have a different perspective


Prepare your first words. The first thing that you say to your ex is extremely important. If you say the wrong words, you will lose the chance to get them back. You need to understand that even though you're not together, there is a good chance they still harbor strong feelings for you.


Use the past to your advantage. If they've ever complimented an outfit of yours, wear it again. Or share a light-hearted memory you had together. Meet at a familiar place you used to hang out together.

 4.Apologize. Think deeply about anything you did or didn't do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the relationship, and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology. Take full responsibility for the offense, without blaming them, giving excuses, or expecting an apology (or even forgiveness) in return. It may very well be that they contributed to the situation, but you cannot apologize for them; you can only apologize for yourself. Leave them out of it and odds are the apology will be reciprocated.

 Offer the apology in person. Tell them you just need to get something off your chest and all they need to do is listen

 Avoid using the word "but". ("I am sorry, but..." mean "I am not sorry.") Also, do not say "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I'm sorry if you were offended." This makes it seem like you are blaming the other person, and is not a real apology.

 A true apology should be structured as follows: Offense, empathy, amends, thanks. Example: "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the times when you wanted to spend time with me, and I blew you off. You must've felt really neglected. In the future, I'm going to try really hard to pay attention to the people I care about so that this does not happen again. Thanks for helping me realize that."


Summary Tips

 •Be yourself!

 •If he calls dating you a "mistake", just take a deep breath and walk away; move on with your life.

 •If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.

 •Never tell your ex that you like him right from the start. Just wait for the perfect time. If he likes you back then good job. If he doesn’t, you should just move on because he isn't worth it.

 •If he likes someone else then just move on there are better boys out there.

 •If they are jerks just move on. It's hard, but think about it there's always a boy out there what are better and may treat you better.

 •Don't let it get you down if they don't want to be with you. It's probably for the best.

 •Some relationships just aren't meant to be. If the steps above don't work, at some point you'll have to accept the break up and move on.




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